How did you come up with your derby name and number?
MK Ultra is the code name of a declassified CIA operation in mind control, drug experimentation and clandestine operations. I chose it as my derby name because of my ability to seemingly teleport on the track and the fact that I can kill you with my brain. 50-37-3 is the CAS Registry number for LSD but that was entirely too long so I went with 503.
Why did you join TTRB?
I wanted something challenging and rewarding to occupy all the free time I seem to always have. My boyfriend’s mom just happens to know Sally Von Trample, who in turn told me about PFM, TTRB and where to get all of my gear and my skates. The track was a major plus, but what I really love is the camaraderie and overall spirit of this league. I never considered any other league!
How long have you been skating?
I didn’t skate much as a kid; maybe 2 or 3 times. I did the majority of my skating before derby working for Sonic as a car hop for a couple months. Nothing prepares you for derby like skating through a parking lot full of cars trying to run you down while carrying trays of food! I joined PFM in March of 2010 and have been avidly (sometimes rabidly) skating ever since.
Who is your derby idol?
Bonnie D. Stroir, Kung Pow Tina, DeRanged, Psyco Babble, Creep Suzette, Catti LaBelle, Thumper Skull, Bonnie Thunders, Boner, Marilyn Gun-Hoe... We’d be here all day if I listed them all…
What is your favorite off-skates workout?
The Butt Bible, yoga, jogging & running up and down stairs
What do you like most about Roller Derby?
That we beat each other up and are still friends after! I finally found a way to combine my love of hurting people with my love of helping people.
Do you have a quote/saying that means a lot to you?
“No more runnin’. I aim to misbehave. ” –Serenity
“When you fight a man, he is not your friend.” - Battlestar Galactica
“I came here to drink milk and kick ass, and I’ve finished my milk.” – The IT Crowd.
“I wish I could talk in Technicolor.” - LSD experiment.
Is my nerd showing yet?
If you could give any advice to a new or interested skater, what would it be?
You’re doing this for fun so remember to have a little! Never, never, EVER compare yourself to others. Everyone is different and we all make our progress at our own pace. What might be right for you, may not be right for some and vice versa.
What is your biggest fear?
To be transported inexplicably to a nightmarish demon world. Like Silent Hill or the Halloween episode of Invader Zim.
What are your likes?
Pizza, belly rubs, naps, warm sunny days. I’m basically Garfield…